Autism Thoughts

It is interesting that even after 15 years of doing presentations, there is still much to be learned about presenting.

Several years ago, back in '95 or maybe '96, I was invited to speak at the national MAAP conference. I was invited to moderate a panel of individuals with autism. That presentation turned out to be one of the worst I have ever done. So bad was this moderating that I have yet to be invited back to speak at MAAP, despite my occasional efforts to get back in Susan's good graces.

For many years (over a decade), I felt the reason I did so bad that day was because I happened to wake up with a fever that morning. Last night, I found out (most humbly) I have been wrong for all those years.

I was invited to do a talk on autism and bullying last night at the Blue Ridge Autism Center (where I serve on the advisory board), but there was going to be a speaker before me, and also a video showing. I felt (incorrectly, it turns out) that discussion would be more productive than a presentation in this case. So I scrapped the powerpoint I was working on and made arrangements to "facilitate" a discussion on the topic of autism and bullying. This topic has always been of interest to me (I should think for obvious reasons), and indeed is an important topic to many people.

What I apparently failed to take into consideration was who it was I would be discussing this topic with.

The parents and educators had a lot to say, but very little of it was on the topic of autism and bullying. The ironic thing here is that the only way I would have been able to keep them on topic was if I was a bit of a bully myself. I refused to do that (soft hearted me), and so things got a bit out of my control.

Well okay, maybe things got a lot out of my control.

To make matters worse, I later heard that several people left early because they did not want discussion, they wanted to hear me speak on the topic of autism and bullying. I would have been much better off to stick to my presentation.

But no, I had to try something new.

There was a young guy with Asperger's in the audience and he seemed to want to speak on the topic so I invited him to join me "on stage", as it were. I have done similar things before once or twice in my travels. Sometimes that works out.

Sometimes it doesn't.

When one has presented as often as I have, one tends to get to a point where one takes chances, if for no other reason than to break the monotony of the presenting. However, because I was presenting on something I had never presented on before, it later proved to be innapropriate this time.

When you take chances presenting, one of two things will happen. It will either pay off big time and you will be a hero, or it will fall apart and you will crash and burn.

I have experienced both results more than once. Last night was a definite crash and burn, just as the moderating for MAAP was way back when. I now consider these two talks to be tied for the worst I have ever done.

I am very good at what I do. (Odd that I didn't get that way until after I was somewhat "blacklisted" due to illness), but, like most others, I am not very good at what I don't do. I had never facilitated discussion before.

And I will never facilitate (or moderate) a discussion again.

I will stick with what works. Powerpoint, control, maybe a song here and there as I tend to do.

I still think discussion would have been more productive than another presntation. I really can't say I know how much of this is my fault for not being a bully, and how much (if any) blame the audience can take for refusing to stay on topic.

Either way, my deepest apologies to the Blue Ridge Autism Center. I hope someday they give me a chance to redeem myself. I hope someday MAAP does the same. I'm sure not wanting to let them down a second time.

P.S. This blog entry dedicated with love to Didi Zaryczny, who is always right. One day I will get this through my thick head!